Q: If my insurance lapses while the premium check is in the mail, am I still covered (Mr. A.H., Bent Tree)
A: Wow, good question! I have no idea. Sorry.
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Q: Is there a cure for the common cold? (Mr. R.W., Jasper)
A: Hmmm, I’m not sure. I asked around the office but none of them knew either.
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Q: My husband seems to be losing interest in me, spending more and more time on the golf course. What can I do to put zing back into our marriage? (Mrs. D.B., Tampa, Fl.)
A: I get a lot of questions about the zing. You’ll probably want to get a good marital advice manual and look in the index under z.
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Q: My silk brocade gown has a nasty stain from Sauce Béarnaise. Any suggestions? (Mrs. F.N., Boston)
A: Wear something else.
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Q: I’m deeply troubled by our impending moral collapse. American society has become a gibbering morass of gnat-minded technocrats, obsessed with communicating, but having nothing to say. (Mr. C.F.W., Atlanta) A: Really? ’Cause, I mean, that’s bad.
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Q: My wife says that “Karl” was one of the Marx Brothers. I say she’s nuts. Who’s right? (Mr. N.N., Marietta)
A: I’m not sure. I think the Marx Brothers were Chico, Flipper and Gaucho. Or something like that. You could probably look it up somewhere. Or call a TV station; they know stuff like that.
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A Marxist or a Marx Brother?
Q: What diet do you recommend? (Mrs. F.W., Forest Park)
A: It depends on what you want to accomplish. If you’re underweight and yearning to gain back those extra pounds, try dumplings, egg dishes and crème brulee.
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Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (Miss P.R., Reno, Nv.)
A: 3.5 cords, chucking at a rate of 6 cords per hour.
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