My ludicrous idea is for a Human Decency Festival. It’s simple: everyone would behave splendidly for 3-4 hours on a sunny Saturday afternoon.
You scoff? Of course, everyone does. So the festival organizers would opt for a more marketable theme like a Collard Greens Festival. Thus is human decency equated with a leafy vegetable, which I regard as a good start.
As you enter the Decency Fest grounds you’d be greeted by a mean person, scowling and demanding, “Make me smile; I’ll bet you can’t.” The kids would make funny faces and give hugs, and the grump would smile.
There’d be a Kindness Booth staffed by compassionate volunteers. And a Let’s-Talk-About-Your-Favorite-Subject Booth. Reformed bullies would go about serving barbeque to the weak instead of beating them up.
As for politics, Democrats and Republicans would speak kindly to one another: “Why you’re not a fascist after all. In fact, you’re very pleasant.”
“And you’re not a commie pig. Say, how about some fudge?”
The grapevine would transmit grace (“She reminds me of Mother Teresa.”) and there’d be handsome Internet postings (“U R exemplary”). The homily Be On Your Best Behavior would thematically usher people toward chivalry, and The Basic Human Decency (BHD) song would bounce across the grounds: “If your spirit needs a tune-up and you need a lighter load, just put in a quart of BHD and motor on down the road.”
There’d be badges inscribed “How May I Help You?” Maybe by listening to someone who doesn’t get much attention. Or by vowing to stay in touch and meaning it. Or by saying, “I’m glad you’re here,” with a fine inflection so it doesn’t sound phony.
Eventually the beautiful afternoon would succumb to the reality of Monday. Unless possibly there’d be a lingering nimbus, an aura where the spirit of the day had been. Maybe behavioral scientists would start noticing excellent behavior instead of always the aberrant. Maybe they’d come to the next festival and man the Kindness Booth.
Anyway, that’s my ludicrous idea. It can’t hurt to toss something wild into the hopper now and then.
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